Welcoming a new baby - Tips from our Boom Buddy Families!

Written by : Boom Buddy Families! 

Kim, Clare & Stacey 

Tandem Feeding with a new baby 

Written by Kim (The Shawver Family)

When I got pregnant, I was still breastfeeding my then 23 month old. He continued to nurse throughout my pregnancy and I didn't want to force him to wean as I knew a lot of other change was coming for him, and it provided consistency and comfort. I did a lot of research about tandem feeding, joined a Facebook community, and spoke to him about sharing his milk with the baby in mummy's tummy. This helped to prepare both of us for what was coming! We've now been tandem feeding for a month and it's definitely had ups and downs. My top tips would be:

1. Research tandem feeding so you understand how it works and can plan how you want to manage it.

2. Talk to your older child about it, even if they don't quite understand, to prepare them. As part of this, you may want to introduce some nursing boundaries to help prepare for how you wish tandem feeding to work when baby arrives. This could be only feeding at certain times, night weaning or getting them to understand that sometimes they can't have milk.

3. Be prepared with nipple cream and silver cups to help any soreness as two mouths and toddler teeth can make for sore nips!

4. Know where you can get support. Every child is different and even if nursing was easy with your first, it may not be with your second. It's also great to find support groups where people have experience of tandem feeding that you can talk to. The B.E.A.R.S. group meet regularly and have a lot of experience between the peer supporters.

5. Embrace feeding both children together. It helps with bonding, teaches your older child about sharing and really is a magical experience for all of you! Your heart will melt the first time they hold hands while both getting comfort and nourishment from you.

Welcoming a New Baby - My Home Birth 

Written by Clare (The P Family)

In June we welcomed the newest addition to our family, another little girl. We had our third home birth which was such a positive experience. Prior to giving birth we decided, for us, it was best if our other daughter wasn't present for the birth. However, we couldn't guarantee this as we don't have any family who live locally to look after her and babies don't exactly give you plenty of warning prior to their arrival!

Just in case our daughter did happen to be present we wanted to prepare her as much as possible before the birth. She came to many of my midwife appointments and also met our doula who would be there (the amazing Tara from Nest and Nurture).  

We showed her pictures from when she was born/a baby and talked about what it would be like and what she could do to help. We found sharing lots of books about having a baby and home birth stories really helpful for her as she is only 2 years old. Even though the baby came during the night, whilst our eldest daughter slept, we still think they helped to prepare her and feel more involved in the whole process. If your planning on having another child, and especially a home birth, here are a few books we would recommend:

1. Baby is coming, a home birth story by Blockie Doyle

2. Hello Baby by Jenni Overend 

3. The birth of our new baby by Ashley Comer

4. There’s a house inside my mummy by Giles Andreae

Welcoming a New Baby

Written by Stacey (The Collis/Murray Family)

Isabella was so excited to finally become a big sister when we welcome Lila into the family at the start of May. After a long journey with secondary infertility and ultimately IVF, we have all had a long wait and it has been so magical to watch the two of them start their sister relationship over the last few months. 

Having a much larger age gap than we originally planned has had both pros and  ons. It’s been an adjustment for us all after almost 6 years as a family of 3, and the two of them of course have very different needs and schedule, but overall it is working really well for us. Isabella now being at school and having her own hobbies that she does every week has remained a constant in her routine and it has meant I am still getting lots of one on one time with Lila on my maternity leave too. There have of course been some tricky moments when our attention has been been pulled in 2 directions and there have been times when Isabella has found it difficult, but the majority of the time she is loving her new role.

Tips that we’ve found helpful so far:

1. Let the older siblings know it’s okay if they do find the change difficult. They may feel irritated, fustrated or jealous and still love the baby and be excited they 

2. Give the older sibling some space to form their own relationship with the baby. It’s often instinctive to jump in when they are interacting, and of course we have to always make sure Lila is safe, but we don’t want to be constantly correcting Isabella, and she has discovered ways to make Lila smile and laugh all on her own which is so lovely to see. 

3. Try to find time to enjoy all the small moments still. Life is a lot busier this time around and time feels like it’s flying by already but all those little interactions, changes and milestones are all so precious still, and watching her sister get excited when she does something new makes it even more special.

If you have any tips you wish to share on becoming a second time parent and how you dealt with the transition period, please pop us a email at info@boommagazine.co.uk

We would love to share them with the community and help more families with the big transition of a new sibling.